The following quote is from a new family who contacted me to help them navigate through some of the issues they were facing with their newborn. Starting in the New Year I will be making home visits to assist other families as they get situated with their new babies.

“Transitioning from the hospital was daunting; we realized that the answers aren’t a click away. Having Sarah in our home, demonstrating techniques was invaluable. She addressed sleep, soothing, feeding and took advantage of the products we already owned. She is the whisperer!”

A miscarriage is the “spontaneous loss” of a pregnancy prior to 20 weeks. Statistically there are 2500 miscarriages per day in this country. Physicians and office staff often feel awkward and at a loss for words when it is discovered that “there is no heartbeat” during a routine OB visit. Unfortunately it is too often minimized, not only by healthcare providers, but by society at large-that includes friends and family. Ask most women who have experienced a miscarriage how they responded, you will often hear: “it was the saddest day of my life” or “I felt so alone” “No one understood how devastating it was.” I speak from personal experience- a life that held promise and hope and joy is gone; never mind that it is an “early loss.” For her it is a life that did not go on. What helps is an “I’m so sorry,” or a bouquet of flowers or a short note…avoiding the subject or “sparing her feelings” is not helpful at all.

Cutting a new babies fingernails tends to be one of the more nerve wracking things that parents need to do…for the first month of life, you do not want to cut them, as they actually grow into the bed of the finger. I actually prefer rolling their little sleeves up and out of the way of their hands; so that they can get to their fists-babies have one way to soothe themselves-by sucking. So let them have access to their fists. Consider NOT using the little cuffs and mittens to cover their hands, and instead, file their nails with a soft baby emery board.
Avoid the teensy toe nail clippers and use a Junior Swiss Army knife that has sharp scissors to cut rounded edges versus straight across. Cut their finger nails when they are asleep (Swiss Army Knife attaches to your key ring; babies are sleep allot in the car-climb in the back seat and clip away!) You will probably not need to cut their toenails for the first year, as they are always smoothing their toe nails down- constantly moving little feet against nighties and blankets.

Our Star Family over the weekend brought their 2 ½ week old precious baby boy back to class for a baby bath-what a delight! The new Dad so proud, his chest affectionately puffed out as he held his tiny son and the Mom literally gushing with love and adoration as she reminisced about his birth. She said: “Minutes after he was born, they placed him next to my face and I felt his cheek against mine and I knew I was forever changed.” The Dad described the car ride home, gripping the steering wheel as he slowly maneuvered the car 3 blocks to their house, creeping along the City streets, as if they were in a foreign land. He summed up his son’s birth this way: “You exit the hospital a completely different person- altered and affected- transformed in a day.”

Think about the weight room at the Club where you work out…have you noticed that the women are SILENT? There is not a sound coming from them as they pump and lift and work out hard…this is not normal…the MEN are grunting, and heaving and almost growling when they work out. It has nothing to do with how heavy the weight is, it is all about social graces. Women have been taught that it is not lady-like to utter sounds in the gym (as if working out has anything to do with emulating Miss Manners.)

The analogy of course is that coping with labor and pushing a baby out of her body are highly physical experiences- like working out at the gym…she needs to be encouraged to use her voice, which will give her strength and power to do her work- in labor and in the gym!