There is only a certain amount of actual preparation to do for birth; particularly when you factor in the very busy schedules of today’s busy expectant parents. There are books out there that suggest a strict regime of what to do’s to prepare for delivery…often creating a sense of overwhelm, and then nothing is done! Rather, pick and choose a few things that feel right to you, that help you feel good inside and out about this impending birth.

Emotional Preparation:
• Human beings tend to worry and fret and focus on what-if; this is not helpful. It creates more anxiety, hence more fear. Every time you notice your mind becoming a ticker tape of concerns, STOP, take a big deep breath, sending a rush of oxygenated blood to the baby and releasing pent up tension from your body. This requires some awareness on your part, which is an important part of maintaining a healthy pregnancy as well as an important ingredient later as a new parent…start practicing now.
• Take 5 minutes a day to tune into this growing baby. It could be sitting in your favorite chair, inside or outside, with a cup of tea or a small notebook to jot down your thoughts. You could simply close your eyes for a few minutes and put your attention inward, focusing on your breathing-breathe in clam and confidence and exhale anxiety and concern…very easy to do and takes only a couple of minutes out of your day. Again, many women think that to derive benefit, they need to spend hours, not so, something is better than nothing, and both of you will benefit.
• Talk with your partner. When couples carve out time prenatally to prepare for what I consider to be the biggest event of their lives, it makes a difference. Tell them what worries you and what you anticipate needing in labor. Go out on dates, sleep in, go to the movies, take walks, sip tea in bookstores…whatever it is that you enjoy doing together, stock up on it! Newborns do one thing: inhale you whole! Invest in each other now; it will help to hold you over during the early days of parenting.
*Reprinted with permission from www.giggle.com

I have always been an advocate of complimentary medicine- where western medicine leaves off; alternative forms of healing can definitely contribute to overall health and well-being. A McMoyler Method graduate, Alana Hammer MS, L. AC, recently contacted me; we met in her SF based office to discuss the range of treatment options for expectant and new mothers: inducing labor, breech position and pre-natal/post-partum mood disorder. Then-she gave me a treatment-(not pregnancy related!). I honestly cannot to tell you HOW acupuncture works…I CAN say that the overall effect was incredible (the needles do not hurt by the way.) She listened carefully as I answered her in-depth questions about my health and lifestyle, covered me in a soft blanket and even had heat lamps to be sure I was warm enough. As I listened to soft music playing in the background, I felt overwhelmingly calm and relaxed. Was it the effect of ‘being taken care of’ or the healing via different pathways? Not sure…it is, however, reminiscent of what to do with a woman in labor: listen carefully and respond lovingly.

*Blog reproduced with permission from www.giggle.com

In a recent childbirth class I was keeping an eye on a mom who had the familiar ‘deer in the headlights’ look and who was preparing to bolt out of the room at the end of the class. I had been acutely aware of her throughout the class and wanted to check in with her before she was out the door. (Had no idea what was going on, I just knew that I needed to touch base with her.) Her face was a little pale and her eyes riveted on the door as I touched her arm and asked “Are you Ok? How was the class for you?” Tears filled her eyes and she could not speak. I stepped closer and motioned for her husband to move in too…we spent the next 10 minutes talking about how afraid she felt…when they left, the icy look had melted and she had color in her face. She hugged me and walked arm in arm out the door with her husband. The take-away- too often in life, we avoid people and situations that look or feel tense and awkward…sometimes we just need to move towards it to make a difference…

With the onset of the first big storm of the season here in California, we are all reminded that winter is on the way. Here come runny noses, holiday hugs and spreading the flu bug?! It is time to act pro-actively and protect ourselves, while not becoming neurotic… Act preventatively: hand washing, adequate rest and nutrition and yes, a flu shot! Locally, both Dr. Laurie Green, OB/Gyn and Dr. Pete Contini, Pediatrician say yes-pregnant women and infants over 6 months need to receive the seasonal flu vaccine as well as the H1N1 vaccine. For a National perspective, visit www.cdc.gov/h1n1flu
* entry from www.giggle.com

Seize the opportunity to fall into each other’s arms now-while you can- before the baby arrives! From simple cuddling to mad passionate kissing…set aside time to be with each other… and see what happens. If your lives are too jam packed with work and getting ready for the baby, then consider it homework. For a fact, in labor, she needs to be able to go to a place of abandon in her mind, to let herself go…giving birth is not a cerebral, intellectual experience, just as great sex is about connecting, trusting and allowing for the unknown. Both involve communication and sensitivity-as the pregnancy continues, she must tell her partner what is working and what is not; as far as positions for comfort and pleasure, she will want to either be ‘on top’ or in a ‘spooning’ position-too much weight and pressure for her to be on her back…Places? Let your imagination run wild-soon there will be a new human whose job is coitus interuptus! Make a fluffy, padded nest in the living room or dining room; or better yet, have an overnight in a nearby hotel or B&B-new environments lend themselves to relaxing and increasing desire…scheduling a “Babymoon” is a great surprise for him to plan her…have fun!

As long as your OB or Midwife has given the go-ahead, you can definitely have sex during pregnancy…for some women, this idea holds absolutely no appeal at all…give me just a minute to discuss the possibilities. During the second trimester fatigue and nausea are subsiding, if not vanishing and women often enter the “the honeymoon” phase of pregnancy-physically feeling better and emotionally more at ease with their changing body and growing baby. Seize this opportunity for intimacy…in what ever way, shape or form that is for the two of you. To make love, you must make TIME; your lives are going to become much, much busier after the baby is born…now is the time to communicate with each other on a physical level. Expressions of love and gratitude create a sense of trust and strength- which will serve you well in labor and as new parents.
Next blog: Sex: Places & Positions