Last minute…spur of the moment…I was invited to assist a labor here in my hometown of Benicia. These first time parents had been in labor for hours; the hospital was encouraging them to stay home and “make more progress” before heading in to be admitted to Labor and Delivery. I had not met this couple, they had not been through McMoyler Method; when I arrived, the Dad was pacing in the kitchen, the Mom in labor was rocking back and forth on the toilet….what transpired over the next several hours was labor at it’s best:

• All Josh needed was to be invited in; once he was planted next to her, in her face, kissing and talking and coaxing her along…that was all he needed to begin making significant contributions to her coping
• Initially, Kylie, was heading into the ‘fear/tension/pain’ zone…all she needed was to be reassured that she was doing a great job, that the baby was coming, and that Josh had her every step of the way; that he would remind her, and encourage her and stay with her…
• They moaned, they rocked, and they knelt on the floor. The swayed, they rocked and they returned to sit on the toilet…for several hours they shifted in and out of reality as we know it…all the while the baby was moving down and labor was progressing
• This is the journey that the mind does not want to take; the body is willing, the mind is resisting. Engage the mind and love the woman…this helps labor progress
• When we moved them to the car, Kylie needed to kneel on the floor in the back so that she could keep her hips moving side to side, Josh stayed in her face and steadily reminded her to moan, that he loved her and that their baby was coming. They arrived at the hospital to be told that they were 10 centimeters…and proceeded to deliver a healthy baby girl!

When I arrived home, the boys’ took one look at me and said “Mom has been doing something that involves a baby…”

Last Saturday, my first born, Luke, and I ran an 11 mile race atop Mt. Tam in Marin County. In a word, it was awesome…early morning, surrounded by fog, running on deer trails, with my SON! (Who by the way had a cast on his arm…)

Our other son, Corey, had driven us up the mountain, took photos beforehand and was there to cheer us on as we crossed the finish line.

In case, you don’t know, teenage boys’ tend to spend less than more time with their mother’s…can you see me smiling? Was I a happy mom or what?!?!

Yesterday, one of my favorite cousins Bob, and his wife Cathy (they are from Upstate New York) came to visit, with their three new daughters! Bob and Cathy have been married for years, perfectly happy with their yellow labs and spontaneous lifestyle…until earlier this year, when something changed and their desire to parent kicked in. They bypassed conception, pregnancy and uterine contractions. Instead they flew, several times, to Russia, where they began adoption procedures to adopt not one, but three little sisters! They are now the proud parents of 5 year old twins, Anastasia and Albina, and littlest sister Viktoria who is in preschool. These smiling, singing, twirling little girls are happy and healthy and crazy about their ‘Poppa and Momma.’

Visiting with this darling family of five made me stop to think about all the adoptive families I know. Whether it is an international or domestic adoption, the sacrifice and investment and dedication required to be successful is astronomical. Adoption is always expensive, financially as well as in time and energy. And it can be painful; the searching, waiting, hoping and praying; that it will happen and that it will work out…

Big applause to all adoptive families who have persisted and sacrificed and bottom line: provided homes and hugs and new lives for so, so many children.

You are heroes!

Beginning with labor and moving swiftly into motherhood, there are moments, many of them, when we ask ourselves “why am I doing this?” Not to discourage the still expectant moms out there, but the stark reality is that this mommy business can be a lonely road, with twists and turns you never in your wildest dreams imagined would happen to you.

Do I regret being a mom twice over? Not on your life. I will say however, that raising children is often hair-raising and has presented the biggest challenges of my life to date. Right when you think you’ve had it, something wonderful happens: your baby smiles, your toddler rides a trike, your older child makes ‘kid art’ just for you, your teenager wraps their arms around you in an unexpected hug.

So, today, Labor Day, I tip my hat to all the moms and moms- to- be; giving birth is hard work and so is being a mom…both will leave you forever changed.